Typically this would normally be a post under tea talk, however, right now I’m drinking coffee instead of tea. The coffee I am having today is Nescafe Gold Espresso, which is an instant espresso (I unfortunately don’t own an espresso machine yet… so… got to accept what we do have), I made it into a latte using unsweetened almond milk and salted caramel “skinny syrup” (its called skinny syrup because its 0 calories and 0 sugar).
There has been a lot going on lately, we are now packing, as we will be moving back into my mother-in-law’s house, and on top of that I’m with Hailey, trying to get into a healthier lifestyle and get more fit (not sure if that was mentioned in a previous post), plus we are in the middle of wedding planning. I cannot wait to share posts about the wedding, like the time when I said yes to the dress, and how I felt trying on the dresses, I will be posting photos of the dress, so most likely will not post anything detailed about the wedding until after the wedding of course. I will also share photos of the items I got specifically for the wedding and where I got them from.
My fitness and trying to get into a healthier routine… is being worked on… and definitely not easy. There are times where I do so well and I’m so proud of myself, and then times I slip up.. but I mean, who doesn’t slip up.
This past week I hung out with my friend Lara, it was a lot of fun and well needed, considering I had not seen her in over a year. We went to a mall called Sherway Gardens. There I actually saw a really nice floral shop, which I may end up going to for flowers for the Wedding if I cannot find anything better. I also found some really nice shoes and a purse for the Bachelorette and for the Wedding. Again, all things will be posted in a later post after the wedding for the accessories I decide to use.
Three things I am really excited for for this month is going to this thing called Barbie’s World, its like a walk thru where you can take a bunch of photos, it will be a day out with my friend and my daughter. Getting wedding things sorted is another thing I am looking forward to, the more I can check off on our to do list the better, especially getting the rings. Lastly my bachelorette party, which falls into the last weekend of August, which I am beyond excited about. It’ll be kind of like a mini vacation away, although I will deeply miss my Fiancé and our daughter.
Stay tuned for the next coming future posts, as they will have lots of photos and lots to talk about.
I was originally due April 16th 2022. However I ended up feeling the contractions (or at least they felt like it would be contractions) all night/early morning. On April 17th 2022 at approximately 5:30am I woke up to go use the bathroom, I had almost reached my bedroom door when my water broke. When I got to the bathroom I noticed a weird colour mixed into the pad where the amniotic fluid was, this was also roughly the time that I lost my mucus plug. I personally thought it was blood at first, but then it looked a little yellow or green, which means that the baby had most likely pooped inside. I took the time to shower and wake my Fiancé up. We also made sure we ate some breakfast, as when you are in the Hospital, at least when dealing with labor, you are no longer allowed to eat.
A few hours later, we ended up going to the Hospital. I was able to go up right away, and showed my vaccine passport, my Fiancé had to wait until I got registered before they would let him into the birthing unit.
It did not take long at all for me to get registered, the nurse checked to see how far I was dilated, which was not very far. They had also decided to keep me at the Hospital instead of sending us home, since the water had broken.. plus… baby pooped. My contractions at this point had completely stopped and I was told that they would need to speed up the process and induce me, as they only had 18 hours to get the baby out. Mind you.. I did not want to get induced at all… but I felt like there was no choice there given circumstances.
The pain came pretty hard and fast, I honestly would not recommend anyone getting induced unless if they have to. Let the birthing process go naturally if possible, cause that shit hurt and does not give you the chance to gradually get used to the contractions. Now, because of how much pain I was in, I gave in and asked for an Epidural (originally when the nurse asked me.. I did decline.. because I wanted to try to go as natural as possible for this birth). It took what felt like forever for them to finally get the Epidural going… for some reason my Fiancé was not allowed to stay in the room during this process, and it took the nurses several attempts to get the needle in the right spot. Apparently the struggle was that my lower back was so stiff from an injury that I had from years ago when I was in a car accident.
Eventually I got to 7-8 CM dilated and was told that the babies heart rate had dropped twice. The first time took approximately 10 minutes to go back to normal and the second time 15 minutes. Which then we were told if it happens a third time, it might take much longer to recover. They highly recommended I get an Emergency C-Section done this way they could get the baby out a lot faster, and prevent the chances of her heart rate dropping again. Of course I agreed to the C-Section, honestly anything to keep the both of us safe.
They were pretty quick about everything, which was good. The Anesthesiologist that was at the Hospital was busy with another patient and was going to take too long to attend to me, so they had to call another one in, and she arrived pretty quickly. They did the freezing for my lower half, which honestly was not given enough time to numb me and I felt every little thing. Because of the amount of pain I was in during the C-section they had highly recommended for me to get put under, which I said no. They then kept pumping me up with drugs to make it tolerable. I was gripping the hand straps tightly to make sure I would not interfere with the surgery. My Fiancé was trying his best to comfort me, cheering me on, lightly rubbing my head. Shortly after they pulled my baby girl out, I had passed out. The nurses had no clue why and they were not able to get a heart beat rating from me because the finger monitor fell off due to me gripping the straps tightly.
Not too sure how long after, but, eventually I did end up waking up and I was not able to hold my baby girl due to being out of it, and they feared I might end up dropping her. I did get wheeled back into the birthing room with my baby on my legs and her head kind of leaning on my lower abdomen.
Hours after the C-section, super early the next morning I was finally able to drink again and be cautious of what I eat. I was also fed Hospital food 3 times that day and the day after. I was also pushed to use the bathroom myself and was told to walk around as much as I could, and try to get out of bed without assistance. It was a struggle, but, I did it. My Fiancé also had to help me out of bed a few times. The Hospital was more or less ready to discharge us 24 hours after the C-section, but I was determined to speak with the lactation specialist, as I was interested in Breast Feeding or at least pumping (that honestly did not last long… but speaking with the lactation specialist was very informative).
Even though nothing went according to plan for my Birthing experience, I would still go through it all again. Hailey is honestly my pride and joy and I love her more than anything else in this world. ❤
I know I already posted what my hopes are for 2022, but this post is a little more elaborated and I feel like it would keep myself more in check and accountable to get these accomplishments. The things I want to accomplish for this year is overall to better myself as a person and to prioritize me, while becoming a good Mother to my soon-to-be-baby.
Focus on Self Care: I have decided to make every Monday my designated make a homemade specialty coffee day (I’m not one for a lot of caffeine, so it’s a good way to help motivate me to get through an insane work day. When my nails start looking bad, I will do my nails and make them look pretty again that same week. Sing out loud. Curl up with a blanket and watch a movie or shows with a cup of tea or hot chocolate. Unwind and relax with a cross word, puzzle or diamond art (I’ll be trying to do this once a week, mostly on a Friday).
Skin Care: My goal is to cleanse, tone and moisturize twice a day (morning and evening). Exfoliate every Monday. Face mask every Wednesday and Sunday.
Read More: My goal is to now read a chapter a day if possible. Last year and previous years I went weeks or months without reading, and reading has always been my great escape or unwind time, so I seriously want to focus on reading more regularly.
Regular Organizing: My goal is to daily find something in the house either to clean or organize, so then my weekends become easier. I have been pretty good with this so far this month, and I find that once something has become organized, I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders and overall happier.
Eating Healthier: Eat more veggies, fruits, grains, and protein. Consume more calcium, iron and vitamin C. Overall eat less sugar and calcium. Try cooking more homemade instead of ordering in, eating frozen boxed or canned foods. Also to do more health related research to gain more knowledge about health and nutrition.
Exercise More: Right now because I am pregnant I will accept baby steps. Make more movements around the house, stretch, squats, dance and light weights. Once Winter is over and the baby arrives, I plan on going for more walks, get into yoga and more steady intense workouts to become heathier again.
Be a good Mom: I really want to make sure I get into the habit that 90% of things should and will be homemade like the baby foods. Also want to make sure I read to my baby daily and educate as early as possible.
Take Lots of Photos: I really want to get into taking more photos and scrapbooking or creating photo albums. Create new memories. It may help me realize that it is the small things in life that can make us happy.
Become financially stable: I want to get my credit card paid off, start saving money for retirement and for short term goals like getting a better place to live. I know especially this wont come easy this year, but I am already making the right moves, and I just need to ensure I continue to make the right moves without slipping up.
Write more: Even if its just a blog post here and there or journaling, it is a form of writing. I really want to get back into doing writing prompts OR get back into writing stories, which I have not been able to do in years. Goal one day is to publish a novel, even if it wont be this year.
All these items that I really want to focus on this year is not necessarily in a proper order, but it is the things that would mean the most to me if I can follow as closely as possible to accomplish my goals. With COVID things have been a mess and I got into really bad habits the last two years like stress shopping and emotional eating, stopped working out and put on a lot of weight before getting pregnant. Put everyone else before me and slacked on self care and had trouble sticking to a good skin care routine. 2022 will be my year to officially take my life back.
On January 8th we had to say our goodbyes to the best cat I have ever known in my life. He has always been Rob’s cat/baby since he was a little boy himself, but, when I started dating Rob, that also meant me being attached to his cat which made me consider him my fur baby.
Hogging the bed/seats on the couch, biting my toes anytime I moved the slightest in my sleep, the constant meowing, following me into the bathroom and nearly making me trip a few times was only a few of the memories.. but the memories I would never trade for anything else.
My favourite memories are the snuggles/cuddles when we watched shows, or waking up in the morning seeing him still in bed with me and any time I tried to work on the laptop, or use my phone.. I loved how he was either by my feet, or sitting beside me as I worked.. and then casually got in the way to scratch his head off my laptop/phone. Or how he would sometimes just come crawl into my lap when I was trying to read a book.
I also loved how Josie would always meow when both Rob and I were not in the room. His favourite place to be, especially in the colder months was in our bed room, and he’d just chill there meowing to get our attention. And if one of us was ready for bed and under the covers, it wasn’t enough, he’d stare at the door and meow till the other came into the room too.
It’s only just been over 6 years since I’ve known Josie, but, it feels like a life time. I love you so much buddy, and I know you’ll always be watching us.. just like how you’d always come comfort us if you knew one of us were sad or not doing well.